In today’s post, I want to talk about the number one complaint that I hear from dog owners the first time that I meet with them. I’ve probably written about this before, but I’d like to do so again because I’ve gained insight on it through the years.

So which complaint do I hear the most? “My dog only listens when she wants to.” Oftentimes, people think of this as an issue with their dog. They think it means their dog is stubborn, unmotivated, stupid, or even too smart. But in reality, almost everyone teaches their dog to only be obedient when they feel like it. It usually starts from day one, whether they’ve bought a puppy or adopted an older dog. Let’s say, as an example, that you’ve just brought home your new puppy. You tell him: “Come here, puppy!” Being a curious puppy, he hears someone talking and immediately comes over. Tomorrow, you say the same thing twelve times. The puppy keeps listening, because frankly they’ll come to anything! You could say “zucchini” or “radish” and a puppy would respond to it. But the puppy isn’t really learning anything, other than that it’s a good thing to come when called. You’re just making a noise, and he’s responding to it. What tends to happen is an expansion. Now you say “sit,” “down,” and “stay,” but dogs don’t learn well through being told. They learn through being shown.

Now you’ve got a year-old dog who has heard “come” a thousand times, but has probably only obeyed two hundred of those times. That’s because the owner is simply telling the dog what to do, not putting themselves in a position to back the command up and ensure that the dog follows through. They’re telling, not showing. If you could train a dog by talking to it, I wouldn’t have a job! It would be incredibly easy to train. Showing is what gets difficult, and that’s why most people don’t do it.

After so many years of communication, the dog will realize that “come” means maybe a treat or a pat on the head. It probably means something good. But my owner never backs it up, so I don’t have to do it.” If there is something more interesting, the dog will feel just as welcome to do that, because their owners never taught them.

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